Sex

The world seems to be obsessed with sex. Sexual pleasure is pursued everywhere and influences just about everything in our culture, including fashion, entertainment, food, personal appearance, relation­ships and self-esteem. Interest in seeking sexual pleasure has harmed individuals, families and governments throughout human history, and seems even more prevalent today.

So sex is a big deal and it can be helpful for every individual to understand what it means to them and the role it plays in their life.

In the Personal View, sexual desire is the interest in using others for erotic pleasure. It can be either real or imagined. It is based on wanting what someone has and using them to get it. This could be a body part, beauty, wealth or power.

Sex is not a problem. Problems come from our thoughts and fantasies about sex, including wanting to be sexually attractive, wanting to be loved, wanting to be “good” or “bad,” while seeking self-esteem, pleasure, power, and excitement. Cultural  thoughts  that make sex seem good are deceiving. Orgasm is considered the ultimate pleasurable physical experience, yet the experience itself is short-lived excitement.

While sex is also considered a symbol of “love”, or even “making love”, it can also take the form of violence, aggression and intimidation. In the Spiritual View the sexual experience is the joint participation in expressing goodwill, joy and appreciation. In the Personal View sex is mistaken for love, orgasm is mistaken for joy, and becoming physically one with another is mistaken for completeness.

While sex in the Personal View is considered very important and essential to our lives, it is actually a counterfeit of the spiritual qualities that are essential to our lives and well being. Love is non-personal, non-conditional goodwill. It is not something we get, give or make, it is a quality we recognize and express. It is not loving to use ourselves and others as objects for sexual gratification. Nor is it possible for us to com­plete ourselves with another, no matter how much we would like to.

Love is often expressed with another whether there is sex or not. Goodwill without conditions is loving and is joyous and complete. And with an interest in expressing this love, sex is a joyful event taking place between individuals where the participation in the good of life is expressed in physical communion.

What a relief this Spiritual View of sex might be for those of us who have never understood the role of sex in our lives.