Marriage

When considering whether to get married, stay married or end a marriage, it can be helpful to ask ourselves “what are my thoughts about marriage?” Our views of marriage are often based on what we have learned from our family, the media and the culture we live in. The purpose of marriage is often thought to be romantic, legal, social, economic, sexual, and/or religious. 

Many individuals who want to get married, and many who are married, are frustrated by not getting what they want.

Often they are seeking personal fulfillment from another or looking to meet the expectations of family and friends.

It is helpful to become aware of what we want from marriage. Some marriages are endured in spite of suffering from these thoughts, while others end after years of frustration. What is needed is to come to know what constitutes a healthy marriage. In the Spiritual View marriage is joint participation in the good of life. Here the good of life is the expression of spiritual qualities that benefit everyday life such as gratitude, forthright­ness, light-heartedness, humility, and mental freedom. 

As we consider whether to get married or as we grow in the marriage we are in, we can gradually give up our old thoughts about what a marriage should be, or what we wanted it to be. We can then increasingly appreciate the opportunity for a peaceful and harmonious existence with our spouses.

We can consider marriage as a course in learning about what love actually is, non-personal, non-conditional goodwill.

We can come to know that marital partners can be like the individual strings of a violin that are separate but not separated, jointly participating in creating harmony.

Then we understand that our commitment to marriage is really a commitment to expressing healthy, loving and beneficial values.